Friday, February 18, 2011

that darn line

It’s a fine line.
 A line that often times get’s blurred a line that at times we push. What line am I talking about? Well, that line would be the fine and oh, so thin line between fun and over doing it. At times the line is so thin I don’t even realize we have crossed it until it is too late. Then I am left asking myself “did I miss it??? .. were there signs??”  This is where I am conflicted. You see, when Bubba is down or we know it has been a hard week for him, there is usually one solution. That would be Disney, of course! So, I know that Disney would be a wonderful boost to his spirit but I also know that at times it can be brutal on his sweet little body. Now, do you see where my dilemma of a fine line comes in? Yesterday Hubs had that day off from work and he has been so busy that he hasn’t seen the kids much at all lately. You can sure tell that it has gotten Bubba down. He misses his Daddy when he is unable to be around all of the time.  So we decided to pull the kids out of school a little early and forgo Regan’s violin lesson for the day to PLAY.  Where else is there to go in this family but Disneyland?? I mean come on you knew it was coming. I was excited for many reasons. First off, we NEEDED some family time. Secondly I got a new toy I wanted to play with (Nikon D7000). Disney is the perfect place to test your skills because you are constantly needing to change your ISO, aperture, and F stop with each new ride, element, lighting change. We picked the kids up and we were off…..
We started the afternoon off with a favorite.... BUZZ :)
The wonderful thing aboug having Daddy is
that he will go on rides that Mommy will not.
Like the rockets....
It is seriously a two person job getting Bubba in and out of the rocket.

Then it was off to Small World, another fave.
Ok, so some of you might be grossed out by the drool
and that I don't edit it out BUT I say the longer the drool
the more fun we are having!!! wink! :)
I LOVE her hazel eyes... I think they look different 
 in almost every picture I take of her.
(depending on outfit and back ground)
Daddy and Bubba went on a rollercoaster!
Then it was time for the Jungle Cruise....
See that happy face... Well, it didn't take
long for that smile to turn into .....
a very tired little boy. :(
We just thought he was tired BUT
 that was not the case.
I walked away for a second to buy cotton candy. I walked back to find that Bubba had thrown up all over himself.Yes, seizures, right there in the middle of main street. We pulled off to the side and cleaned him up,
Daddy carried him to the tram. I sat in the back of the van holding his head up, cleaning up the vomit, and making sure he didn't choke. Regan cried as I used her shirt from school to catch the vomit. The line was crossed, we pushed it just a little to far. It is one of the hardest things as Bubba's Mommy that I am faced with, the fine balance of making him happy but not pushing it past the point of no return. We have always been told quality rather than quantity. How do I know how to balance the quality???  It is a hard one. Well, we made it home, I gave him an injection of valium, and he got LOTS of cuddles. Today he stayed home from school with Mommy to recover, we cuddled a TON. My heart breaks each time our fun family outings turn into pain filled nights.
at least we did get some fun moments together before the storm hit.


Foursons said...

Don't be hard on yourself, I think all moms face this challenge. I'm sorry it is such a detriment to Bubba's health when he overdoes it though.

Jessica said...

Your children are just beautiful!! And y'all always look like y'all always have fun!! Lucky...I wish I could be a kid again! ;)

The Huss Family said...

I don't know bow you do it! You really are a warrior mom.

Rachel said...

You know what? I'm praying for the right thing to say and I am praying that you hear my heart because I love you guys.

What if this had all happened no matter where you were or what you had done that day? I'm so glad you got those moments of happy family time. And I'm praying that God continues to give you that divine wisdom in making decisions... if He had told you "no" to Disney, I'm sure you wouldn't have gone.

I'm thankful for your quality time spent. And praying for relief and rest and healing for your boy.

(I'm thankful that he enjoyed the tarnation out of your day before that! :)

Rochelleht said...

Ah, bless your heart! I'm so sorry it ended like that. But I am so impressed that you try. I find it very difficult to take the boys out. Mostly Derick. I never know when he'll have a melt-down. I so admire your determination.

Susan said...

I agree with Rachel. That ending could have happened with any happy start in any venue. You were doing something to make Bubba happy and you know how happy he is at Disneyland. The pictures show his delight at being there, so don't be hard on yourself. Everyone knows you gave Bubba that day out of sheer adoration for him and a wish that he could have a fun time, in the place he loves best, with daddy included. I'm sorry it had to end unhappily for him and with you feeling some regret for not cutting it shorter. My guess is that he'll still want to go back to Disneyland at the first opportunity available. You're both in my prayers.