Saturday, March 30, 2013


I have often been asked how I can still smile.
Well, the answer to that question is simple.

1.)  Have you not seen my son?? I mean seriously, that sweet boy of mine ALWAYS had a smile on his face, ALWAYS. So, if he could manage to smile while enduring great physical trials then how can I not smile while enduring mine?? It’s simple…. he taught me and I learned a very important lesson. Life is not always fair… easy…. or even beautiful at times but if you look for it; truly look for it you CAN find good in it. So, I CHOOSE to smile and look for the good because that is what my boy would WANT me to do and because that is what my daughter NEEDS me to do. Simple as that.

2.)  2.)I smile because I know that my Redeemer lives!... what joy and comfort this sweet sentence gives. I have always loved Easter and been grateful for the comfort and knowledge that my Savior and Redeemer loved me enough to die for me. I took great comfort in knowing that my sweet Bubba’s body would be made whole and that he would one day be freed from the shackles that it had placed on him here on earth.

(This is my sweet boy last Easter. I look back and see how very tired he was.He couldn't even hold up his little head. Oh, it breaks my heart to see how much he had to endure. {Yet, there was still a smile.})

 This year however, Easter has taken on an entirely new meaning to me. As I grieve the loss of my empty arms I am comforted to know that one day because of my Great Redeemer they will be filled again. One day there WILL BE a wonderful reunion between me and my sweet, sweet boy. One day I will kneel at my Savior’s feet and weep in gratitude for the gift that he has given me… eternal family.

Mosiah:7 “Yea, even so he shall be led, acrucified, and slain, the bflesh becoming subject even unto death, the cwill of the Son being swallowed up in the will of the Father.8 And thus God breaketh the abands of death, having gained the bvictory over death; giving the Son power to make cintercession for the children of men—9 Having ascended into heaven, having the bowels of mercy; being filled with compassion towards the children of men; standing betwixt them and justice; having broken the bands of death, taken upon ahimself their iniquity and their transgressions, having redeemed them, and bsatisfied the demands of justice.”

I Testify to you my sweet friends that I know that Jesus lives! I know that he suffered and endured such great pains because he loves us, his brothers and sisters. I know that in my darkest and hardest hours I can turn to him and be comforted because he truly understands my pains after enduring them in the Garden of Gethesmane. I know that my family can be together forever. What an AMAZING gift that my Savior has given me!! I rejoice in his sweet name knowing that he loves me… he truly, truly loves me. He knows me. He LIVES and because he lives I will be reunited with Bubba. I miss him, oh how I miss him but I take comfort in knowing that he is so deeply loved, as all of us are, by a loving Savior and Redeemer Jesus Christ.
It is my prayer that all of you might feel this peace and comfort in your lives as well.
Happy Easter from our family to yours! 

I will end my post tonight of some sweet pictures from two years ago when Bubba was strong and healthy enough to enjoy Easter.

Look at that smile on his face while he was stealing his sister's eggs. ;)

Monday, March 25, 2013

Mom, I need you............

I picked Regan up from school one day and she said....

"Mom.... I need you ....I need a you and me day."

So, with those simple words everything else that seemed important in the morning became of no importance.

It was simple....

She needed me....

She asked for it {so proud of her for being vocal about it.}....

and she got it!

We left from school and headed to Disney land.

Disney Land is still a little hard for us all but on this day.....

Well, she needed some Disney magic and I needed to see her smile.
Oh these sweet characters at the park.

When they go out of their way to make her smile....

I just want to whisper in their ears and tell them all about her life....

that she has the weight of the world on her tiny shoulders and how

much that simple smile truly means.

She needed a you and me day
and I.....

simply needed to see that smile!
"A smile is curve that sets everything straight."
Phyllis Diller


Thursday, March 14, 2013

{A simple reminder}

"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were big things."

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

You made a promise...........

Saturday I woke and saw the mess laying around my house...

the piles of laundry....

The dishes that needed to done....

and all of the little things out of place.

But rather than do these chores I rushed to get ready for a baby shower that I wanted to attend.

Walking through the door from the baby shower I was greeted by the same mess that was there when I left.

Regan ran to her room put on her boots and greeted me in the living room with an "I'm ready to go Mom!"

So, off we were again..............

This time to snow day at her school.

Yes, us spoiled beach folk bring in ice and pretend it's snow in 80 degree weather. ;)

After the snow fun was over we met up with one of her friends, picked up lunch, and headed home.

Again, I walked into our cozy home to see the same mess that I had left behind just hours ago.

As Regan and her friend ate lunch I told them.... "we can just stay here for the rest of the day and play here if you want"

Then with out blinking an eye Regan looked up at me and said "BUT MOM you PROMISED that on the first hot day we would be at the beach."

I did.

Boy, it would have been easy to have made up a million excuses and stayed home to clean the house but she was right.... I promised.

I remember the day that I made that promise to her.

We were talking about how fun this summer will be and how we will spend EVERY day at the beach.

As she spoke I saw a range of emotions cross her face.

I recognized each one.... the biggest one being guilt.

In the past we didn't get that many beach days despite living minutes from the beach becuase our sweet Bubba could not go.

So, if Bubba couldn't go.... WE couldn't go.

It broke my heart to watch Regan struggle with the guilt of being happy to be able to do something that she wasn't able to do before.

I have had this beast of an emotion come at me so often and the last thing I want it do is attack my baby girl.

So, with out thinking twice about it I said "you are right... I made a promise and I keep my promises! You girls have five minutes to get your suites on and we are off!!!"

I shut the door to my dirty home and we were off to the beach.

I could have simply said "NO... I have to much to do today."
BUT then I would have broken a promise, her heart would be broken, and I would missed out on seeing her beautiful smile.
Oh, how I love her smile!
I have learned in my short little life each day is a gift...
So, why would I waste it on laundry when I could be making memories with my daughter??
That night I stayed up folding the laundry, washing the dishes, and doing the things that needed to get done.
It is an amazing thing.... it all waited for me.
There was no major disaster becuase Regan's underwear was not folded.
You know what the fun thing is.....
While I did all of these super fun things {insert eye roll} that night I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face.
I couldn't stop thinking about Regan laughing and playing in the snow.
Her huge smile when she came down the ice slides.
How much fun she had with her friend in the waves. {despite the water being pretty cold}
How the girls laughed and talked as they built their sand castle.
That sweet girl of mine didn't have a care in the world, she was simply an eight year old girl having fun with out guilt......
and let me tell you something.........
seeing that was so much more rewarding than seeing a pile of folded laundry.
My sweet little boy taught me many things in his short twelve years here on earth with me and on the top of that list.....
ENJOY each moment, CHERISH them, stock up on them!
{and I have to add to that for parents and children that are greiving..... with out guilt!}

Monday, March 4, 2013

{Top Secret}

I LOVE service.

I love how rewarding it feels to serve and to be served.

I  have a list of characteristics that I hope my daughter learns and on the top of it is Service.

I hope that one day she has as a great of love for serving others as I do.

Our sweet family has been served so many times and so many ways by those around us.

I can't help but feel the need to pass it on.

Do you remember "my girls" ???

Well, it was time for them to serve some one new.

I wanted it to be fun......

For them and for the ones being served.

So, I recruited them to the secrect service...........
and given a very important mission.
{operation heart attack!}.......... shhhhhh............
This sweet friend of Bubba's......
has been having a hard time.
She was sent home from the hospital......
{with out being able to eat food... and having to
 be hooked up to feeds 24/7 like Bubba}
{no visitors because of her immune system}
{and well feeling pretty down int he dumps.}
So, what did operation Heart attack consist of you ask??
Well for starters we put our crafty hands to work..........

Then it was time to get our game faces on.....

and then it was GO TIME!!!
When we arrived at our target destination we ran into a problem.
The aboved mentioned target was pulling out of her drive way.
The girls all dropped to the floor of the car and hid {while laughing and screaming!}
THEN it was GO TIME.....


{Can you handle all of the super spy awesomeness!?!?!?}

A HUGE thank you to Ms. Sherrie {Bubba's old aid and our dear friend} who was a get away driver!
She loves Liz as much as we do and wanted to be part of operation Heart Attack.
On the way home we passed the police and the girls all screamed and ducked.....
didn't want to get BUSTED by the cops.
Some how we managed to stay under their radar. ;)
Mission: Heart Attack
Was a success!
It was touch and go in the begining but in the end it all came together! ;)
I'm not sharing this post to brag but rather as a simple reminder that...............
"By doing SMALL acts of kindness we CAN do GREAT things."
Ous mission was simple....
Make hearts.
Tape hearts onto forks.
Make cards.
Cheer some one up.
Pretty simple if you ask me.... I'm just sayin'
Before our mission the girls and I talked about secret {and not so secret} acts of service that we can all do on a daily basis.
*Smile at others.
*Hold the door open for others.
*Help those with chores.
*Take time to get to know the needs of those around us and see if we can help.
*Pick up trash.
*Make pillow cases. ;)
*Pray for those in need or our prayers.
So, I will end this post with a request.....
Please do an act of service for my friend Liz.
Please pray for her
 she NEEDS your prayers.
I truly believe that prayer is one of the simplest yet greatest acts of service we can do.
"By doing small acts of kindness we CAN do GREAT things!"

Friday, March 1, 2013

finding reasons to smile.....

Sometimes I still just want to stay in bed and cry.

Sometimes it's hard not to feel lost.

Sometimes I want to be angry.

Sometimes I want to be sad.

Sometimes I WANT to be happy and it just doesn't come.

Sometimes I have to remind myself to let laughter happen.

Sometimes I have to remind myself that it is OK to be happy.

Sometimes I smile.

Sometimes I have to STOP.....

Sometimes I have to STOP and look for reasons to smile.

My biggest reason for smilling each day is my sweet girl.

Oh, how I adore her.

She is stronger than any adult I know.

I admire her more than she will ever understand, words just aren't enough.

She is my reason to smile.

I haven't posted about my sweet girl in a while and it is LONG over due. ;)

{forgive me??}

I have to go WAY back to catch up on some of the fun we have had.

At the begining of the year Great Grandma Jo and I took Regan to American Girl Doll.

I don't know who was more excited!?!?! ;)

Regan was on happy girl to her her new Sage doll.
{Sometimes you can't help but want to spoil her since she so awesome!}
We finished up our visit to The Grove at the Farmers Market.
{Grandma Jo had never been and she has lived in CA all her life.}

Regan's first soccer season ended and she did so good!
I was proud of her and loved hearing her coaches tell her how
far she came from the first game and never playing soccer before.

She has asked to go and see her Bubba alot lately.
So, we have lots and lots of cuddles while we talk to Bubba.

Daddy/ Daughter Dance night at Church.
Aren't they just the cutest together!!?!?!?!?

They are my reason to smile. :)
We have played with friends!!

Regan has such a HUGE heart.
She helps with the special day classes every day and the teachers
always tell me how amazing she is with them. 
She doesn't feel sorry for them....
they are her friends.
{Oh, that big heart of hers!}
More cuddles while we visit Bubba.
{our visits with him seem to be the best time to get my cuddles in with her.}
We are fitting in lots of play time with Nana and Pa Pa
and she is loving it.... despite the look on her face in that one picture. ;)

I love this sweet girl of mine!!!
She is my reason to smile!
Everyone loves my little girl....
Shoot, the other day in class {while it was quite} a sweet boy told the teacher "I like Regan."
The teacher replied "Well, I like Regan too."
Then came "No... I LIKE LIKE her!" {with an eye brow wiggle and everything.}
All of her little girlfriends in her class ran up to me after school so excited to tell me abou it.
Still not sure how I feel abou that.... ;)