Friday, May 31, 2013

{God's timing}

It is amazing how in retrospect I can see that God truly has me in the palm of his hand and is very aware of me and our family’s needs. God’s timing might not always make since in the moment and at times might seem unfair. Come on y’all….. I think I get that one BUT when we stop and take a breath and look…. truly look at our lives we can see how much God loves us and is aware of us.

I have had SOOO many of these moments over the past 10 months.

Hubs interviewed for a job over two years ago and in the process of the final stages he was informed that after two years our family would be relocated to anywhere in the country that the company needed him. We talked about it…. Prayed about it…. Worried ….. Bubba’s medical team was all here and the care that he received here in So. Cal was top notch. The thought of picking up and relocating to who knows where and not having the care for Bubba was terrifying. We weren’t sure if we would be able to do that.

Then Hubs got a call to let him know that the company had gone on a hiring freeze.

As Bubba’s health continued to decline Hubs and I decided to put the job search on hold. We knew we couldn’t change insurance companies with everything that his care was already costing us.

Then the unthinkable happened.

Not only did we lose our son but we also lost my income. I was getting paid to care for Bubba since we didn’t want to put him in an institution for his care and because we had no outside nursing come into help.

In November Hubs and I sat down and had a real heart to heart over the situation…. Either I would have to get a job or he would have to start looking for a new one. The last thing either of us wanted was for me to have to go to work full time and be away from Regan when she needed me most.

The very same week that we had this hard talk the company that Hubs had interviewed with over a year prier called him and asked if he was still interested in working for them. He went in to interview with them again and the same stipulation still applied to the job…. In two years you will be relocated to anywhere in the country that you are needed….
 Are you OK with that???

The conversation about relocating was completely different this time around.

During this time Nana and Pa Pa decided to go on a mission trip for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and asked us if we would be willing to live in their home while they were gone for two years and care for it.

{Ok y’all are you starting to see the timing of all of these things come together????}

Hubs started working for his new company a couple of months ago…. We moved into Nana and Pa Pa’s home this past weekend…. And they will be leaving in a matter of weeks for their mission in Panama.

 When Nana and Pa Pa return it will be right around the time of Hub’s relocation.
We will have no mortgage or rental commitments to worry about.
We will be able to pick up and go where ever we are sent.

It is exciting and a little scary when we think about it but it will be a new and wonderful chapter in our lives.

I have no doubt that we will end up where God wants us to be.  Some people might say that all of these things are simply a matter of coincidence but I know that it is God’s timing.
Ecclesiastes 3:1,2,4
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.

There are things in our lives that we have no control over and things that we can control..... Oh, have I learned that lesson over the past ten months!!  I do have control over my faith and I truly believe in God's timing. I am grateful to know that I have a Heavenly Father that loves me so much that he will time things perfectly for our needs, even if in the moment it doesn’t make since.

Here's to a beautifully scary new season for our family.

Monday, May 27, 2013

There is a reason I have been MIA......

This weekend we said good bye to our tiny cozy home and are moving on.

There are so many emotions that this move has unearthed.

There were tubes... socks.... pieces of Bubba every where.

I wouldn't let anyone help me pack....

nope not one despite their sweet pleas to help me. ;)

I needed to do it myself ......

because of my daily break downs as I did it.

It was just too personal to share with anyone.

I was cut open and left raw for weeks as I went through his things....

as I prepared to say good bye to our home.

This sweet little home holds some of the best memories

and also the very worst of memories.

I know that where ever I am my sweet Bubba is with me.

I don't need the security of those walls to hold onto the memories that we created there.

Here is to new beginnings with our sweet Angel watching over us as we go.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

{Team Bubba}

9 months ago today my world changed forever.

9 months ago today my heart broke.

9 months ago today I wasn't sure how or if I could go on.

13 days ago my world changed for the better.

13 days ago another bandaid was placed on my broken heart by complete strangers.

13 days ago I was reminded that I can go on.... that I WILL go on.... I CAN do hard things....

That I have a legacy to share.

My sweet, sweet boy was honored by our local chapter of Ability First at their annual stroll and roll 5k.

{This is where Bubba enjoyed summer camp each year.}

The 5K was at the Universal Studios back lot. {super fun!}

Team Bubba wore bow ties in honor of Bubba.

I was in tears before I even got out of the car......

Cars were passing us by and I could see the people... people I have never even met wearing bow ties.

The show of love and support for our boy was overwhelming.
It was a beautifully hard day.
Lots and LOTS of tears.
Nana and Pa Pa came to support their boy. ;)
The love was so overwhelming.....
I didn't even manage to get a picture of everyone wearing bow ties. 
{Regan's friends came to support her.... tears}

{my sweet friends came to support me..... tears....
oh, they would help me pull it back to together every time I lost it.} 
It was so sweet to see Bubba's friend supporting him!

To put is simply..... it was AMAZING to see how many people love my boy.
and Bubba crossed the finish line with us!
We did it!!!
We CAN do hard things!

We are so grateful to everyone that came to be part of Team Bubba and support Ability First.
Thank you so much!!!
By doing small acts of kindness we CAN do GREAT things!!!