Saturday, May 29, 2010

I am just not feeling prepared

I am just not feeling prepared. I am slowly but surely marking things off of “the list” BUT I still just don’t feel prepared at all for this new stage in our lives. I have to admit, I am nervous. …. VERY nervous. This has been a hard year for Bubba. He has had multiple infections and is weaker and has regressed. So, this makes me worry… Ok, really I would worry anyways but this just adds to my already worried heart. The unknown is also hard. We have no idea how Bubba is going to react to having this tube sticking out of his stomach. I have a good idea of what it will be like but really…. I won’t know until we are there. I don’t know what his sweet little face will look like after the surgery, how bruised and swollen it “might” be. I don’t know how Regan will deal with us having to be away and take care of her brother and what she will think when she comes to see him. I worry…… I am a mother, it is in our blood. Wink!

Friday morning I got to go with my eternal boyfriend to the Temple on a morning date. We both needed the comfort that the temple brings. We prayed, we cried, and we talked about how good God is to us. As we were leaving I saw a friend. She came over and hugged me and sweetly reminded me that it is in God’s hands. No matter what…. It is in God’s hands.

I am grateful for prayer. I am grateful to be in constant communication with my Heavenly Father. The power of prayer is an amazing thing and such a wonderful gift. I know that Heavenly Father knows my heart and capabilities and will be there to help me when I am lacking. More times than not it is in my weakest moments that I feel my Heavenly Father’s love the most. I know where to turn for peace….. Peace he gives to me.

One of the most important things on “the list” was having some major FUN family time together. Well, today we had a blast doing some new things together. Collin LOVES trains…. Uhmmm… maybe a little obsessed. So, we decided to take him to ride a new train at a park around the corner. He LOVED it!!!

Then Daddy and Regan went out on the little lake in a pattle boat. They had fun together and were able to spend some much needed one on one time together. :)
Collin and I watched them while waving and yelling at them. After they were done the kids and I had to go on the train one more time before it was time to go.
                            It was a good day.


Poppie said...

We put in a prayer request today for Collin at church. Love you so much! Will see you soon...

Simply Sara said...

Your heart is so very beautiful. I can't even begin to understand what you are feeling, but I'm praying for your family. May you all experience a peace that surpasses all understanding.

Glad you were able to have such a fun day with the trains!