Thursday, September 16, 2010

My little butterfly

 Remember when we went HERE?
While we were there Regan picked out a fun treat.
It was a butterfly net that came with a certificate to get your own butterfly.
As soon as we got home that day we went on-line and entered in the code.
With in about six days we had our very own live larva delivered to our front door.
{forgot to get picture of larva)

Then we watched every day as they crystalized and made their cacoons.
When they had formed their cacoons we had to take them out of their jars and attach them to the net.
Yes.... it was a little ummmm... yucky.
So, we made Daddy do it!
Then we had to wait....
and wait for them to transform into...
beautiful butterflies.
After all five of our beautiful butterflies were out we enjoyed them for a few days
and then it was time to let them go.
Most of the butterflies were so excited to get out.
As soon as we walked outside they started going crazy in the net.
(can you find the butterfly in the picture below?)
BUT there was one sweet little butterfly that did not want to leave his home.
Jason got him out and he was just fine staying in his hands.
He did fly away with a little help.
My sweet little Regan is my own last little butterfly, the one that doesn’t want to leave. Last week she did so great with her first day of school. Then it happened, she got scared and cried EVERY day this week. I sat with her in her bed last night as she cried, pretty much a full on panic attack. I keep asking her if something happened at school… Was there someone that was mean to you?? We had a FHE the other week about bullying, so I felt confident that she would tell me if someone was bullying her at school. She reassured me that no one was being mean to her. Then I asked her if she liked her teacher. She loves her teacher. I kept asking questions hoping to start come kind of dialogue that would answer the question…What is going on??? What is your favorite thing to do at school?? Did you and BFF have a fight?? She told me that she didn’t like her new shoes. She doesn’t like having to worry about the shoe laces. Could it be that simple???? So, I told her that we would go shopping first thing after school today. She still sobbed in her bed as I held her.” What is wrong now” I asked her. “The problem…. Pause…. I miss you so much at school. I just want to stay home and play with you like we did all summer.” I squeezed her tight and then we talked about how special our summer was and how important it is to learn new things. I promised her that we would still do special things together…. “Don’t you remember that we went to Disneyland last weekend… we will still do LOTS of fun things together. I promise.” I reassured her that the “awkward” (her word) feeling in her tummy will go away. I told her that it might take some time getting used to being back at school but it will be OK.

This morning when I went to wake Regan up the first thing out of her mouth was “oh, Mommy my tummy is feeling awkward… I just can’t do it. I can’t go to school.” It breaks my heart to have to send her off knowing she is having such a struggle right now. When we arrived at school, she started to cry. Her teacher wrapped her arms around her and shoed me away.

Regan is that last little butterfly that doesn’t want to leave. She would be happy staying here with me until the day she I married. When we joke about College she will respond “I will only go to College if I get to live a HOME!!!!!” I have a feeling that her views on this will change in ten years. Wink! If she could she, just like the butterfly, would want us to hold her in our hands forever. This is the hardest part for me as a mother. I know that in order for her to grow and become her own sweet little person she needs to be set free.

Why is it so hard to watch my little butterfly struggle as she learns to fly?


Kenny said...

Poor Regan! Harrison had a rough day this week as well. He was hysterically crying and screaming, "I want my mommy!" when I dropped him off. It was all I could do to not go back and grab him and take my baby home with me! Just keep talking about her feelings with her and hopefully her nervousness will pass. The butterflies are wonderful, though!

Amy Eaton said...

I have one of these too. My Sydney as I like to call it has "Peter Pan Syndrome" meaning she doesn't want to grow up...She just started preschool and the tears and nervous tummy was unbelievable!! I have know idea how she will take on Kindergarten next year.

Anonymous said...

i have a son like that as well julie. he cried every single day of kindergarten... everyday except friday night and saturday. once sunday came and he knew monday was around the corner he started crying again... you want to hold them forever and tell them its alright. so sorry shes feeling like this, it will subside. it just takes sometime. she has a wonderful mother and there is no one can take your place.... she wants to be with her momma.

Katie said...

her grossed out face is priceless! I was the same way with going to school. I had tummy aches every day for the first few weeks, and even went home early with tummy aches a few times. I out grew it by 2nd grade... us sensitive girls just need time :)