Wednesday, February 17, 2010

It might be different, but that's ok.....

Yesterday in the doctors office I had "one" of those talks with Regan.

Collin was happy and playing on the table.
Regan was trying to climb on my lap and still the attention away from him.
Then the questions started
"Mommy, will Bubba have to get a shot?"
"Mommy, what are they going to do to him?"
"Why are we ALWAYS having to take Bubba into the doctors?"
With her questions coming fast and furious I tried my hardest to keep up by responding..
"No, he will not need a shot. They are going to listen to his chest, look at his ears and make sure that he is all better."
Then she said
"Mommy I wish they could really make him all better... you know normal like you and me."
My heart sunk.
"Regan, Bubba is very much normal BUT a different kind of normal and that is OK."
Then she looked up at me with those beautiful eyes and said the sweetest thing
"I know Mommy but I wish he could walk and talk.... I wish people could see him how I see him."
"Well, Regan how do you see him?"
Then she said "Mommy all I see is Bubba."
She touched me so much.
When she looks at him all she sees is her brother.
I know that she desperately wants to have him understand her jokes
or chase her around on the playground.
She knows him and understands his wants.
She just wants him to experience EVERYTHING that she enjoys.
That is when I told her that her growing up days {childhood} and Bubba's will be different and that is OK.
It took Mommy a while to understand that and I want you to know that it is OK.
You don't need to feel bad that you can do things that he can't.
He loves watching run, and thinks its funny when you splash him in the bath, and he probably wouldn't even like french fries even if he could eat them.
It is OK.

I worried when I was pregnant with Regan that I would be placing a huge burden on my unborn child. I worried about how different their lives would be.
Often times I still have to remind myself....
It might be different.... and that is OK.


Mandy said...

How sweet and tender she is. I think we all have to go through the acceptance phase. I did as well. But sometimes it is a daily battle. Caleb has gotten really hard to take ANYWHERE at this point, and it just can be frustrating to not be like "normal" families, and be able to jump in the car and go on a fun family outing. One of us stays home because it just is easier. Some days acceptance is easier than others and I am glad she sees her brother's special spirit.

Amy and Kyle said...

I'm behind...
1st. I'm SO happy you got your new camera...if anyone deserves it, you do!!!!
2nd. I'm SO happy for you and Bubba because he is BETTER!!!! YAY!
3rd. That Reagan melts my heart!

Anonymous said...

Hi, you don't know me but I was reading Shawna Zurmely's post to my daughter and my superhero grandson spence who is fighting cancer right now. I know Don and Linda Presley from young adults. Whoa I'm old.
Anyway I was a special education aide in the Alpine ut school district for four years. I was super excited to start working with the kids though I didn't know what to expect. I was pleasantly surprized to realize that everyone is sooooo much more than a diagnosis. Every single one of the kids I aided for over the years were such individuals and for the most part their challenges made them that much more unique and fun.
your little guy reminds me of one of my most favorite and unforgettable. He is in Jr. High now but once or twice a year I run into his mom at the mall and she tells me he still talks about how much he loved "Myth L" that's me :) and I feel the same about him with one big difference...he will always be pure and innocent and perfect and the fact that he still remembers me is one of the greatest honors I have been bestowed with on this earth. I feel unworthy and humbled to have been a part of his life. I am sure everyone who has the privilege of being loved by your son (and daughter) feels the same.

Lynette Hemsath

Anonymous said...

Regan is such a great sister.
I know with my brother TJ people always say something about him having down syndrome. I know he does but that isn't all that he is. My nephew was six before he even said anything about TJ not talking like everyone else. When Carter, my nephew, was little TJ would say things and Carter would say I know what he is saying. All children have so much to offer and I learn daily from TJ.

Nicole Hutchings

Mique (as in Mickey) said...

Hi there,
I just saw your comment on my 30days giveaway and wanted to stop by and say hello. I felt connected to you right away- my oldest (10) has autism. I have had many many talks like that with my younger two (ages 8 & 3 1/2 yrs old). I can totally relate- and isn't it amazing? Some days it's all so overwhelming and hard. Other day I wonder what I ever did to deserve such a wonderful example of unconditional love in my life. So glad you commented on 30day!! It's nice to meet you. xoxo Mique