{Confessions of a grief stricken Mama}

Simply put, I have grief brain. Yes, I have become an emotional crazy woman but then I have a good excuse.. Right?? I have had lots of “grief brain” moments and I had to take a pause and laugh. Yup, it’s like the saying that I love so much from Sis. Hinckley “The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a head ache.” Ok, so yes I am still doing a ton of crying and this story I am about to share will attest to that but at the end of the day I am not too proud to laugh at myself. ;-)

I have been avoiding all of our usual spots, wanting to avoid having to explain what has happened. Well, last week I had an awful morning {who knew that I would still be dealing with the state even after Bubba’s passing} and I felt the need for some comfort food. So, I decided that I would go to one of my favorite restaurants, café rio.  This is the kind of restaurant that you actually have to get out of the car and go inside to place your order. So, everyone knew Bubba since we were always together and it seemed like we were there at least once a week {don’t judge me!!}. Well, it had been over a month since I had eaten there, over a month since Bubba’s passing, and I was hoping that no one would recognize me without my boy… just get in and get out.

I got through the order line, paid for my lunch, and was feeling good… I might just get out of here without anyone asking about Bubba. I went to get my diet coke and the owner/ manager {not sure which} was at a table close by working on his laptop. He was always SOOO nice to Bubba and me every time we came in. So, then it happened… he asked “Oh, you are on your own today. Are both the kids in school??”  A simple question, right? Well, instead of saying yes or playing it cool I did the only rational thing…. I started to ball. Yup, poor guy never saw it coming. So, then if things couldn’t get any more awkward I suddenly needed to explain the reason for my tears.  I told him about Bubba and the poor guy just looked at me stunned and telling me how sorry he was. Ok, so just when you think I couldn’t get any crazier ;-) Rather than thank him or play it cool I grabbed my food and ran… yes, RAN out of the restaurant almost knocking someone over.

 Crazy party for one… right here. :-)

Every time I have shared this story with my girlfriends we have all ended up in tears from laughing so hard. The poor guy had no idea that he was in store for a big helping of “grief brain stricken” crazy Mama when he woke up that morning and you know what I was worried about… Oh, no!! Where am I going to get my pork tostadas from now on?

Ok, so if you’re wondering yes I did go back. I have wonderful girlfriends that made sure that my second attempt would not be so utterly traumatic for any poor employee of the restaurant. I even saw the guy and apologized and he simply said “it’s ok.”  My friend said “boy he handled that well.” I told her that I agreed and that if I were him and I saw me coming I would have run and hid in the back. ;-)