Monday, August 10, 2009

Take the good with the bad...



Saturday was such a lovely day. Jason headed off early to go and do testing for the CHP and the kids and I headed off to the Aquarium of the Pacific. I LOVE going to the Aquarium with the kids first thing in the morning before the crowds come flooding in. Some days Collin loves to watch the fish and other days he just wants to keep moving and doesn’t want much to do with them. On this particular morning he was very much enjoying the fish so it made our time there that much more enjoyable and slow paced. After our fun morning we head home to rest.




That night we had a ward activity at the beach. Jason and I had debated back and forth as to whether or not we should go with Collin. We have only taken Collin to the beach one time in all of his nine years of life, despite living right down the road from it. We have to worry about the UV and what it will do to him. After much thought we decided that we should just do it. We waited until it was getting darker so that he wouldn’t have to hide under the pop ups that long. Shortly after getting in the car and starting to the beach Collin started gagging. I jumped into the back of the van to try to help him and before we knew it Collin had thrown up all over himself and gotten me as well. I looked up to see Regan’s eyes welling up with tears. “Mommy I really want to go.” It broke my heart. Jason turned the van around and we headed home discouraged and unsure of our decision. We went inside and changed our clothing. I told Jason to just go with out us but he didn’t want to go with out Collin and I. “This is supposed to be a fun family night.” he said with Regan crying in the back of him. Jason and I decided that we would try again and stay for as long as Collin could handle it.


We got to the beach and it was heaven. Collin’s face lit up when I took him out of the wagon and he touched the sand. Collin and I stayed under the tent playing while Regan met up with friends and started right away on the perfect sand castle. Collin’s smile was his constant companion the entire night. He kept looking at me and yelling as if to say “I can’t believe we are all doing this…. I can’t believe that I am here too.” I think we all felt that way. It was beautiful to see Collin stroking the back of Jason’s head lovingly as they watched the water together. It was so fun to take him to the water and put his tiny little feet in the cold water only to have him pull them up as soon as the waves came in. Regan was able to make Smores with her Daddy over the fire for the very first time. She was so excited. It was a perfect night. The kids were so happy when we got home. Collin fell asleep with a smile on his face.


The next afternoon our perfect evening caught up with us. We were preparing for a fun BBQ dinner. Jason was making hamburgers, Regan and I made fresh lemonade, and had just finished peeling and cutting potatoes to make home made French fries when it happened. What we thought was going to be our third good day in a row suddenly changed. Collin started seizing, vomiting, and before we new it he was limp in my arms. The table that Regan had set didn’t even get used. Jason and I took turns eating in shifts so that one of us could hold Collin and monitor him. It didn’t stop and eventually I had to give him and injection of valium. After this was done he was able to fall asleep and relax. After putting Regan to bed I broke down in tears to Jason about how I just wanted a nice dinner and then before we knew it, it was gone. Then we continued to talk about how perfect the night before was and how most likely what Collin was going through was a result from all of that fun.
“Would you change it?” he asked referring to the night before.



I thought about it for a second. “No, we have got to take the good with the bad or in our case the bad with the good.” Yes, it was heart breaking to see my little boy hurting and in pain but if you were with us at the beach you know the kind of joy he experienced just by doing something that simple. He was happy, we were happy. We had a blast making memories. I think if Collin could talk he would tell you the same thing.

Most days are hard ....waiting for a good day to turn bad BUT it is the memories of the good days that get us through the bad ones. Sometimes I just have to remind my myself that we have to take the good with the bad and some how in the end it all works out. It is the bad days that makes me that much more grateful for the good ones.











10 comments:

Michelle said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Poppie said...

What great memories you are making!

Mandy said...

What precious pictures you took of a perfect night. I am glad you were able to enjoy it as a family. As I am well aware it is hard to have "family activites" with only half the family. But we do our best!

Michelle said...

Thank you for removing my post with my password attached! ;)

I am SO glad you were able to go back to the beach and enjoy an evening with Collin and Regan as a family! I am proud of you for keeping your glass "half-full." You are amazing...love you, sis!

Brian and Kara said...

I'm so glad you guys made it to the beach! I was so surprised to see you there because I knew it would be difficult for your little man. Collin's smile definitely caught my eye and I noticed it was there the entire time you guys were there! I'm sorry you had such a rough afternoon/evening last night as a result. Hang in there Julie! Your family constantly amazes me with your strength!

p.s. - love the pix! especially the one with you Collin and Jason. A very talented person must have taken that pic. ;)

Sassy J said...

Your spirit amazes me.....I am so glad you were able to take the whole family along, what awesome pictures....Julie you are such a strong person I always enjoy reading your blog....what a perfect night! Jennifer

Randi said...

You are such an amazing family! I know that you understand what I mean when I say, "Don't Blink." Collin is such a special spirit, and Regan is such a great big sister. You two are so blessed, even though there are some days it doesn't feel like it. I can't wait till Gailon can take Collin's and Reagan's pictures, as well as the whole family.

Julie, I love you so much. You truly are my hero!

Wards said...

Julie, I've got such love for your sweet little family! Thanks for sharing your sweet little memories and for being such an amazing mom to your kids! You guys are truly and inspiration to me. I hope one day we will actually get to see each other in AV or down at your home! You, Jason, Collin, and Reagan are in my prayers!

Marie said...

Jason's testing for the CHP???? He's going into law enforcement??? Robert was in Sac PD a while ago - it's a tough change. Good luck to Jason through the testing phase, I hope he gets through. It's an interesting experience.

Kellie said...

Hi! I'm Amy Thompson's sister in law and she told me you were thinking of doing a bow class and if so-I would REALLY like to come! I'm expecting my first baby girl in October and have been wanting to learn. Let me know! :) Thanks!