“Just put one foot in front of the other….. “ Some days it is just that simple. I am sure that you are all saying… Julie, what in the world are you talking about? Some days just making it to the end of the day is accomplishing a small feat! I rarely get sleep and well this week has been brutal. Collin has been in a lot of pain and there for the nights are the worst. Jason and I try to take turns with him but Collin tends to like Jason to put him to sleep and then in the middle of the night he only wants me. If I am lucky he will go back and forth between the two of us. It has always been this way so I am used to it. I average about 3-5 hours of sleep a night and function just fine on that. When there are several bad nights in a row well… I am a walking zombie. Just take a nap when the kids are in school you say. Yes, that is a great idea in theory BUT I just can’t do it. I don’t know what it is but I am the type of person that when I am up … I am UP! I can take the occasional nap on Sundays. I don’t know what it is about Sundays but they are so relaxing. Any other day of the week for get it! There is way to much to do and if it doesn’t get done when Collin is in school…well then it doesn’t get done.
There is a point to my tired and sleep deprived ramblings. I am so grateful for my sleep deprived nights. I think I have mentioned this before but one day when I was complaining Angle Katelyn’s Mommy said “ I would give anything for a sleepless night.” How simple yet how profound. A mother longing for sleep deprivation and long nights. To hold her pain ridden child one more time through out the night. Ever since she said that to me I have never looked at our hard nights in the same way. Yes, they suck… no other way to put it BUT I still have my baby to comfort. I feel very blessed to have had no sleep for over eight years and counting. I am grateful for my dark circles and tired body. I am humbled by the love that Lord fills me with when he comforts me in these hard nights. I am so grateful for an amazing best friend that is right there helping, crying, and fighting right beside me.
So, today if for no other reason I wrote this post to remind myself how incredibly lucky I am to be so tired right now.