A {SPECIAL} kind of heart....

I have ALWAYS said that it takes a special kind of heart to teach special Ed.

It is one thing to have a child with special needs given to you at birth....

You have no other choice... you adapt... you make it work.

BUT it is an entirely different thing to CHOOSE to be with kido's with special needs day after day.

I think it is probably one of the hardest and yet most rewarding teaching jobs you can do.

{if I do say so myself! wink!}

When we went to the Dr. on Thur. he told us that Bubba CAN NOT got back to school anytime soon.

He is still having immune issues, bone marrow, b4...

"If we are getting this boy ready for surgery.... he HAS got to stay out of school."

That same day I got a text from Bubba's teacher asking to stop by. :)

He was very HAPPY to see his friend. :)

She brought cards from his classmates

and a sweet gift from an aid that spends lunch period with Bubba.

It was so thoughtful of her to take the time to stop by and check on Bubba.

She did not have to do this.... BUT .... like I said......

a SPECIAL kind of heart. :)

Later that day Regan and I hung up the pictures around his bed.

He was just a little excited about it! wink!

Bubba with his Pooh Bear that his sweet aid sent him. :)

Today I am grateful for.....

those with a special kind of heart....

Good days......

Smiles......

people taking the time to think of my sweet Bubba and put a smile on his face....

and two pretty good dr. apts this week! :)

{Gratitude}

This past month has been a hard one on our little family, on me. I do my best not to let myself go to that place…. To feel sorry for myself and our lot. I have to say that every once and while it happens, I go there. I have my moment I get sad and then just like that it always seems as if the clouds part and Heaven shines a light right on my blessings to point them out to me. I feel like I am one of the most blessed people in the world. I might not be blessed with a big mansion, sleep, riches, or nope not even a full understanding of this lot that we have been handed BUT I am blessed with what matters. Today I am grateful for…………

{I am grateful for my body} I am grateful that when I wake up my feet hit the floor and takes me where I need to go. I am grateful that my arms are strong enough to carry my child and lift his wheel chair. I am grateful that my ears can hear my children’s laughter and my eyes can see their smiles.

{God} I am grateful for my loving Heavenly Father. I know that I can turn to my Heavenly Father in prayer at any time and he will comfort me, guide me, and love me. I am grateful that he knows that I am not perfect and is willing to teach me.

{Jesus Christ} I am grateful for my Savior and redeemer Jesus Christ. I have such deep gratitude and love I have for my brother that loved me enough to lay down his life for me. I am grateful to know that because of him my family is eternal.

{My family} I am grateful for my sweet little family. To me there is nothing better than being married to your best friend while doing the very thing you love most to do in the world, be a mother. I am grateful that I was blessed with the amazing gift to bare and raise two wonderful Kidos! Being a mother is the hardest but most rewarding job in the world.

{Friendships} I am grateful for my amazing friends. Seriously, I have the best friends that can see past the “Oh I am fine” and show up when ever I need them with out even being asked. Each one of my friends make me a better person and I feel blessed to be worthy of their friendship.

{Modern Medicine} I hate seeing what TTD is doing to my sweet little boy but I am grateful to have so many wonderful things available to help him… medications, hearing aids, breathing machines, machines to feed him, a wheel chair to get him around, and more. I feel blessed that in each new challenge with Bubba’s health we are blessed with a wonderful new doctor to help him.

{Parents} I am blessed to have several sets of parents and each one of them is a strong and loving to support to me. I am grateful for the unconditional love that I am showered with.

{Braces} Yes, this one is silly but I am grateful that my parents made sure I got braces. I LOVE to smile, at times I smile because I am happy, other times I smile because I am strong but no matter what the situation is, a smile always seems to make it a little easier.

{Teachers} I am grateful to the wonderful teachers and aids that my children have been blessed to have now and have had over the years. Regan LOVES to read, she loves to learn. I am grateful for teachers that have planted that seed in her. Oh, those sweet special day teachers and aids. I have always said that they have a golden heart…. It is one thing to have a child with special needs born to you but it is an entirely different thing to CHOOSE to be with them every day. They are pure angels!

{Insurance} I am grateful to have good Health Insurance. I feel like I am fighting with them most of the time but I don’t know what we would do with out it. It is a true blessing!!

 {Trials} I know you are thinking what???!?!? No, really I am grateful for the trials that I am blessed with. In each new trial I learn so much about myself and grow.... just when I think I am going to break I realize how strong I really am.

{Photography} I am grateful all you have to do is pick up your camera and click to capture and freeze a happy moment forever. It is the photographs of the good days that get me through the hard ones.

{My home} I am grateful for our home, it might not be big and have to best furnishing and décor but it is filled with love.

{My siblings} I know that I can count on a phone call from at least one of sisters every day. I am grateful that we are not only sisters but we are friends. I am grateful for a big Bubba that may look tough on the outside but is on the sweetest and softest guys you will ever meet.

{You} I am grateful for all of you. I don’t even know who most of you are but you pray for our family, you leave the kindest and most uplifting comments, and you give me place to express my thoughts with out judgment.

{Kidos} Ok, so I know I already said them but they deserve another one. I am grateful for what great friends they are. Regan has such a connection with Bubba and loves him so much. Bubba lights up when she comes home and smiles from ear to ear when she kisses him.

{Hubs} Yes, I know this one is a repeat too but he deserves another one as well. I feel truly blessed to say that I am married to my best friend. I am fully aware that the divorce rate for parents of special needs children is very high and am grateful that after 12 years our trials have only made us stronger. I am grateful that he still kisses me good night every night and kisses me before he leaves for work every morning even if I am sleeping.

So, how could I ever feel sorry for myself for too long when I have so many wonderful things in my life to be grateful for?  I pray that you are able to have to heavens open, the clouds part, and God shine a light on the blessings in your life for you to see. If you are having a hard time seeing them give me a call I will come over with my flash light … I am sure there is something, even if it is small, to be grateful for. “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Happy Thanksgiving Y'all!!!!!!!!!!

{grateful}

Grateful for our fun weekend.

Grateful for those wonderful memories that I clung to today.

Today was a hard one for our sweet Bubba.

Lots of seizures, cuddles, and wiping away tears.

Grateful for Great Grandma Jo that was happy to answer my frantic phone call....

"I need your help!!! bubba is seizing and I have to get Regan from school... I am on my way to your home, I will pick you up and have you get regan from her class while I stay in the car with Bubba and keep his airway open!!!"

Grateful for a wonderful Hubby that came home early from work to help.

Grateful for our sweet friend that knew that Bubba was having

a hard time and called tonight offering to take Regan to school tomorrow.

There is ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS

 something to be grateful for, even on hard days.

Week of Gratitude {Day 3}

1. I am thankful for my testimony and my membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am grateful to know that Jesus Christ is my Savior and redeemer. That for me, a sinner, he hung and suffered there. I am grateful to know that he LIVES, that he is my brother and loves me beyond measure. I am grateful to know that my Heavenly Father loves me so much and because of this great love he does not give me any challenges that I can not handle. I am grateful that if there is a day when my trials do seem like to much I can turn to God for help. "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28 I am thankful that in a very complicated world the word of God is simple, his plan of salvation is simple and beautiful. Life is hard not God’s plan for us.


2. I am thankful for the power of prayer. I have seen it work miracles not only in my life but in so many around me.

3. I am thankful to be me
Watch THIS

4. I am thankful for photography and all of the moments that are captured forever.

5. I am thankful for journaling and this blog. I blog to keep a record of everything that we were going through in our lives. I remember how alone and scare I felt in the begining of my journey with Bubba. I want other Mothers out there to know that they are not alone.

6. I am thankful to be able to stay at home with my children.

7.I am thankful for days like today. The day did not start well. I had planned on taking the kids to the zoo early, by noon I realized that it was going to be hard. I told myself that I could do it! After being on the freeway for ten minutes Bubba threw up all over himself. I looked back and saw tears in Regan’s eyes, she was afraid that we would have to turn back around. Instead I took the next exit witch I knew led to Target. We bought Bubba a new outfit, got him dressed in the car, and were back on the road. It was a beautiful afternoon with my sweet children. Oh, I love being a Mommy.

8. I am thankful for how well my children get along. They have a very special bond and I am so grateful for that.

Week of Gratitude {Day 2}

Today I am thankful for the kids having a week off of school. :)

I am thankful for...... Oh, come on you know it's coming..... DINSEYLAND.

{Guess where we went today... wink!}

1. I am thankful for sweet characters that spend so much time with the little ones in wheel chairs. 

2. I am thankful for how free and young Disney makes us all feel! 

3. I am thankful for amazing Grandparents that always want to come and play with us! 

4. I am thankful that certain rides can make any grown man feel like a kid again.

{oh, don't get me started on how much I adore this photo! I made them all cram into one car while I sat comfy in the one in front of them! wink!!} 

5. I am thankful that no matter how many times Bubba rides the Jungle Cruise he still laughs so hard when they shoot that darn gun. :)

6. I am thankful for how quickly this "grown up" girl remembers how fun it is to be little when a princess is involved!

 

 7. I am thankful for Small World at Christmas time. I LOVE the music, the lights, and cuddle the time it provides.

 8. More than anything I am thankful for the MANY, MANY, MANY amazing memories this wonderful place has given our family over the years.



Week of Gratitude {Day 1}

I thought with Thanksgiving coming up I would do a week of gratitude. Let’s face it, my last post was a bit of a Debby Downer. So, we need to get some FUN, REAL, and maybe SILLY things that I am thankful to have in my life.

1. Ok, well let’s start off with my best friend. I know…. You are tired of hearing about how much I adore him but really I do. People have often said “I don’t know how y’all do it”….. well to answer that…. It is simple we do it together, the good and the bad, we do it together. Wednesday was a HARD day for me. It was one thing after another. I was sad and Jason knew it. He had Thursday off from work. He knew I had things that needed should get done but he said “let’s play!” So that is just what we did. We went to Disneyland kid free and rode on the BIG kids rides. We laughed, I smiled, we ate a YUMMY lunch and you know what.... it was JUST what I needed! I am thankful for a best friend that knows exactly what I need.

2. I am so grateful for unlimited long distance and my daily chats with my sister. I hate that we live so far away from each other BUT I am thankful that neither of us ever skips a beat…. If we need each other we call..... If we need to laugh we call….. If we need to cry we call.

3. I am grateful for BIG purses that can hold all of my junk!

4. I am grateful for all of you! No really, your comments often times are just what I need to “hear”. You are such kind and supportive women. {and for those that aren’t well… don’t send me emails OK!}

5. I LOVE being one of “those” moms. I am grateful to belong to an elite and special group of mothers. There isn’t a pass word or special hand shake but when we see each other or meet for the first time we know. We instantly know and bond over trials, loss, or funny stories.

6. I am grateful for Archer Farms Dark Chocolate Drizzle caramel clusters popcorn…… to die for!!!

7. I am grateful for GPS! Heaven knows I always get lost even with it. I would hate to see what happens with out it. Wink!

8. I am grateful for my Children’s smiles….. They make my heart smile.

Here's to {Day 1}...... stay tuned for LOTS more!

Attitude of Gratitude Fridays

During General Conference this past weekend several talks spoke to me personally. One of them was THIS talk given by President Monson. What a wonderful talk about having a constant attitude of gratitude in our lives. So, with his talk in mind I have decided to start my Attitude of Gratitude Fridays posts. I wasn’t sure where I would begin. I mean really, there are so many wonderful people that have blessed my life past and present.


Then at lunch with Regan today it hit me. I brought her lunch to school today and ate with her and her friends. Regan has a sweet best friend; the two of them are inseparable. This friend carefully took each item out of her lunch box and smiled when she saw a note. I asked her who had packed her lunch. She then told me with a HUGE smile that her sister had packed her lunch. You see, this friend’s older brother and sister pick her up every day from school and are a very important part of her upbringing. As I sat and watched her happily eat her peanut butter and Jelly sandwich lovingly made by her sister, I started to think of my own older siblings.


My sister would fix my hair before school and knew just how to tease my bangs to get them nice and high. She would often time pick me up from school and watch me until my parents came home. My own Big Bubba would also pick me up from school in his old beat up pickup truck that we lovingly nicknamed “spot”. I will never forget the night that he was watching us young kids and he did not want to cook. We all wanted pizza for dinner. So, he brought out my parent’s HUGE penny jar that they kept in their closet. He told us that if we wanted pizza we had to starting rolling pennies. I will never forget the look on that poor delivery boy’s face when my brother handed him around twenty dollars in pennies. Oh, it was priceless!!! It was primarily the two oldest out of the five children that were responsible for the rest of us while our parents were working or while my mother was at school. They were at times unhappy about the tasks that they were given BUT they took care of us. They loved me enough to make sure that I had food to eat, got home safely from school, and started my homework.


I am so grateful for their loving acts of kindness to me as a child. I am grateful that I never had to sit outside of the school crying because no one loved me enough to pick me up. {Ok, maybe one time.. wink!} I am grateful that pizza was ordered, macaroni was made, or left overs were reheated so that I wouldn’t go hungry. I am grateful that despite not always loving the demanding task of being an older sibling they always stepped up and did what needed to be done. At times doing what needed to be done meant that they missed out on something fun with their friends.


So, with all of this said…… I want to say Thank you to my wonderful older sister Michelle and BIG Bubba Mark for all that they did for me while I was growing up. I did not realize at the time what sacrifice and love it took to do the things that you were asked to do. THANK YOU!!!

{Oh, and to my sisters Nancy and Karen…. You are pretty OK too.. wink!}