What is it about motherhood that make’s you feel so wonderful one second and like a complete failure the next?
I wish I new the answer to that. At the end of the day all we can do is our best, right?
Lately, I have been doing my very best just to keep my head above water.
Collin was very sick for pretty much the entire month of February and then some. With this he needed so much if not all of my attention. There were seizures and vomiting….. and a little girl that needed to be fed. If I put him down then he could choke… what to do? Luckily I have an amazing mother-in-law that lives with in minutes and came to my rescue often. More often than not I felt torn. It breaks my heart to think that I might be a complete rock star with one child while I am keeping him breathing and giving him one medication after the next …BUT ….then did I fail with my daughter that only wanted Mac and cheese for dinner and I had to call for help?
I was starting to finally feel like I was treading water well and then I heard these words from a sweet little voice…
“Mommy I need you… I need some time with you.”
You know what…. I needed some time with her too.
So, with my first chance {Jason’s first day off in seven days} I pulled her out of school a little early and it was just Mommy/ Regan time. Her teacher asked what we were going to do and I explained to him that we needed time together. He looked at me and smiled and said “I agree….since Tuesday {the day of Collin’s test} the sparkle in her eye has been gone.“ I don’t ever want her sparkle to disappear…EVER.
We started our day together by going to the Aquarium to watch a Barbie movie that she wanted to go to this weekend but was not able to because of Bubba. Guess what … It wasn’t showing any more. That ended up being a VERY good thing I think. Instead of watching a movie we went exploring.
First we started with the wonderful fish and things at the Aquarium. We were able to take our time and didn’t have to rush because someone was getting fussy.
Then we continued our exploring by walking to some bridges not to far away. We ran up and down them. We looked at the algie in the water and watched men praticing throwing balls for the Dog dock jumping competion this weekend.We laughed...a lot!
Then we walked over to shoreline village where explored by trying funnel cake for the first time.
We met new friends. :)
We played games.
We hugged.... and held hands
And best of all we found that Sparkle!!!!
Motherhood brings out the very best in me. I LOVE being a Mommy to two amazing children. When all is said and done I hope it is the days like this that Regan remembers not the hard ones. Here's to more wonderful sparkle filled, happy, and memorable days like this!
