watch me {juggle}

Have you ever looked at a woman and wondered how in the world she did it??  ….How she was able to have an immaculate home, perfect hair, train for a marathon, and manage to make the cutest handouts for her child’s class. Seriously, you know that you have met someone out there like this or maybe stumbled upon a blog like this. I sit in awe of these women BUT then I wonder how much of this is “real”… where is the balance?? At what cost does this perfect persona come with?  Lately, BALANCE has been on my mind a lot. I would love to have things in my home perfectly clean, organized, and maintained but then it wouldn’t feel lived in, would it? We are in the middle of re-doing our living room and it feels like total chaos. {I will be so happy when it is all done} I would LOVE to have my hair look descent let alone perfect but then that would mean that I would have to take the time in the shower to wash my hair and some days that is a luxury. Let’s face it, when Bubba isn’t doing well I feel lucky just to get the important parts washed… forget the hair. Wink! I would LOVE to work out but my body is not my friend right now. Bubba is waking up in pain so much at night and I am lucky if I get 4 hours of sleep. Shoot, I am writing this post on one hour of sleep… so forgive me if it comes out chaotic. Wink! So, forget working out… I am happy if I can simply make it to the end of the day. Ok, I will confess that I am one of those moms that will stay up late the night before trying to make a cute hand out BUT lately I have to stop and ask myself before taking on one of these tasks… “Is it worth it?” Trying to find the balance of what I think I should be and what I can be is hard. Trying to find the balance amidst the constant chaos that is our lives is difficult. Shoot the hardest balancing act for me comes with being what Bubba NEEDS me to be for him and still being what Regan wants me to be for her. So much of my time lately is going to caring for Bubba’s physical needs.

It is a HARD balancing act.

Yes, I said it… motherhood is HARD.

I LOVE it, I love it more than I could have ever imagined.

Motherhood is one of the hardest yet most rewarding jobs out there.

Regan adores her sweet brother and I don’t want that to ever change. I don’t want her to ever hate the fact that plans were canceled because of him. So, this is where my new and improved balancing act begins. The secret…. I am learning to except help. I know!!! … Crazy right!?!? I am one of those stubborn women that feel like I SHOULD be able to do it all but the reality is… life is HARD, life with Bubba is VERY hard. So, when wonderful friends want to help …. I need to accept their help. Easier said than done BUT I am trying to get better at it.

Regan was very upset when we had to cancel our annual Christmas party because Bubba was sick. The other day she told me how much she wanted to have her Valentine’s party but was afraid that it would not happen because Bubba was sick AGAIN. So, I made the decision to put my new balancing act to the test. Luckily, Regan insisted on buying the crafts and activities when they came out in the stores {back in Dec.} so that was already taken care of. When my sweet friend offered to arrange the food I said yes! What … I know… I accepted help! Woot woot for the new balancing act. I had face masks ready for anyone that might have come with a runny nose, cleaned up as best as I could, and settled on a less than perfect party because that was I all that I could muster up. You know, the funny thing is… my less than perfect party was perfect in Regan’s eyes. She simply loved having her friends over and having a bit of an “all about you” moment. I am trying to get better about finding balance in my new “normal”. I am so grateful to have such a wonderful support team that is willing to help me juggle when things get chaotic. I feel so blessed with my crazy, messy, tired, unorganized balanced life. : -)

Some of our friends! :) 

LOTS of cuddles :) 

Making Valentines. 

Bubba did manage to give up some smiles.

It was so sweet to watch him and baby leo together.

They LOVE each other. :) 

Then it was time to decorate cookies. 

I think there was more eating than decorating. 

More of the balancing act :)

giving this mama's back and arms some relief. 

time to hand out Valentines. 

I am truly grateful to have such such a wonderful group of friends to help balance out the chaos that is life! Love you gals!!!!