One year

Earlier in the week my sweet husband told me that I would want to make sure that all of my work was edited and finished by Thursday. He also, oh so sweetly, told me that I would probably want to finish unpacking the few remaining boxes upstairs and clean up the guest room. Of course this piqued my curiosity and had me asking a million questions. At the end of our conversation I learned that someone… from Texas… was coming on Friday the…. one year mark since our sweet son’s death. I couldn't imagine who it cold be since Regan and I just returned from our trip to Texas just a week before. So, I happily left it at that and stopped my interrogation. Someone had put a lot of thought and effort into being with us on a hard day and I wanted to be surprised.

 

Friday morning I woke with a black cloud over my head. The tears flowed freely as Hubs, Regan and I looked at photo albums and talked about Bubba. I am not sure what it is about 1 year… why is this day harder than the day before??... But it is. It hurt. My sweet husband found me on our bed a broken down mess, in the fetal position. He quickly took off his shoes and climbed in bed behind me taking me into his arms. It was so sweet as if he was trying to block out the pain with his own body and shield me from the hurt of the day. That is true love.

Not long after my break down it was time for the surprise visitor, Regan sat by the window watching every car that passed by. I was in my bedroom when I heard… “Uncle Bubba it’s Uncle Bubba Mommy!!!!” I hurried out to see my sweet big brother walking up to our door…. The tears started. Shortly after walking in the door he asked me where his room was. Yes, I found this a little strange that he was so eager to put his bag away but didn’t give it much thought. Then as we were talking and hugging I hear Regan again “Was…. I think that was Aunt Karen’s purse…….” She ran down stairs and then starts yelling “Aunt Karen is here too!!!! Aunt Karen is here!!!”  I looked at my brother and simply said “Really??” He just smiled. At this point I lost it. I broke down on my sweet big brother’s shoulder as he held me. I rushed to see my sister standing in our living room with her arms wide open.

On August 9, 2013 my sweet brother and baby sister came to be with my family and do whatever they could to ease the pain that we were enduring. I can’t even begin to tell you in words how grateful I am for them and their kindness. They thought that they could ease our pain and simply acted on it... that is true love. 

 Every single person in my family went out of their way to call, message, or show up to send us love and support on this difficult day. I am so grateful that my family didn’t try to make this weekend harder than it already was. They simply loved us… all of us.

Shortly after their arrival we started in our plans for the day. “A day about Bubba.” We started out with lunch at one of the few restaurants that Bubba would endure and that was simply because he could see the bus stop from the patio. ;)

From there it was onto see our boy and bring him flowers.

We headed to the beach after determined to keep smiles on our faces, however hard it might have been.

 

 

 

We ended the day at Bubba Gumps, another one of Bubba’s favorite bus look out spots. ;)

 

The next day we decided to head to the Orange County Fair!!!

Where we enjoyed lots of yummy food....

played games....

 

and rode rides......

 

 

 

I am so grateful for my wonderful big Bubba and baby sister.

In a very hard weekend.....

 

.... these four were my beautiful!

 

I miss my boy with every breath that I take but I know that I will be with him again. I am grateful to know that I have so many wonderful people that truly care about us and love us. 

I am one lucky, loved girl!